Diversity & Equity: Closing the Leadership Gap
Thanks to my colleagues Steve Lew, Senior Project Director, CompassPoint Nonprofit Services and Maura Bairley, Interdependent Consultant for Social Change, for their contributions to this piece. When I work with organizations around diversity and equity[1], I start with managers, because I believe that their buy-in and investment is essential for the work to succeed. Lately, I’ve been struck by a gap I see between what it takes to build diverse, equitable organizations and how prepared many non-profit managers are for this work. In this...
read more#BlackLivesMatter: 5 Tips & 25 Questions for Nonprofit & Public Organizations
Greetings and Happy Winter! I usually write something celebratory to mark the end of the year. But, today I’m interrupting my own business-as-usual to write about #BlackLivesMatter. How can non-profit and public organizations address anti-Black racism and support the #BlackLivesMatter movement? Many organizations have already been in action and are setting examples for others. This post provides tips and questions for ongoing reflection, learning, and action. Many thanks to J. Elena Featherston, Amiko Mayeno, Dawna Vann, and Alex Tom for...
read moreSix Cultural Barriers to Family Acceptance
People often ask me about the cultural barriers that I see working with Latino families around family acceptance. I hesitate to answer this question because I don’t want to feed into stereotypes. The term culture is often used to talk about people who are considered different than the mainstream, but not about U.S. culture in general. This post discusses dominant cultural beliefs and norms related to gender and sexual orientation that I grew up with in my home country, the U.S.A. This post was originally written for the Parents...
read moreSix Practices for Building Staff Morale from the Inside Out
Non-profits are magnets for people who want to make a difference in the world, yet many people who start out with high ideals end up down and discouraged. There is often one big obstacle to staff morale – the morale of the leaders themselves. When leaders are deflated, overwhelmed and/or on survival mode, they aren’t good morale boosters for the organization. This is why attending to the morale of leaders is often a good starting point. We humans have basic needs in our lives that are directly related to morale. We want to grow...
read moreWhen Your Buttons Get Pushed: Cultivating Self-Empathy
“Someone said something that really pushed my buttons. I was too upset to use my listening skills or respond in a positive way. What can I do to deal with my own feelings when I’m triggered?” This topic comes up often in my Authentic Communication workshops. Here’s a response based on tools that I have used in my own life and in coaching others. If you are getting triggered you probably have a need that isn’t getting met. One way to get in touch with that need is to practice self-empathy, based on principles of Nonviolent...
read moreHow Gender Boxes Harm All Children and What We Can Do About It
My early parenting experiences were sometimes hard. I had a son who liked to play with dolls and dress up as a princess and I didn’t know if that was okay. I’ve learned a lot since then, and today I’m sharing some of what I’ve learned about the impact of gender boxes on children. As early as two years of age, children learn that there are different rules for boys and girls that they are expected to follow. They learn by the example that is set by parents, caregivers and siblings. They learn by how they are treated....
read moreIntent and Impact Across Difference: 10 Tips
Negative Impact Happens Have you ever said or done things with the best intentions that ended up being hurtful or damaging? Or maybe someone said or did something that didn’t sit right with you? You’re not alone. This post provides some tips for how to respond to such situations. Messages we send or actions we take are often received differently than intended. This can happen more often when cultural differences are involved, because our culture influences how we see things. We also carry many unconscious biases and prejudices and...
read moreDiversity, Equity and Inclusion – Why are we talking about this?
In my work with organizations around topics of diversity, equity and inclusion, I often hear that a few people are asking “Why do we need to talk about this?” This usually happens in organizations that serve very diverse communities, with staffs that aren’t as diverse. And, usually, there’s less diversity in the senior management and board. So, isn’t the answer to that question a no-brainer? Well, actually, no, it isn’t. I am glad this question is asked because people often assume that we all know diversity is important, but...
read moreFalling in Love with Our Work
Happy Fall! I have the great privilege of doing work that I love, both as a consultant and as a volunteer. One of my greatest aspirations is to help people fall in love with their own work building organizations and communities where everyone is valued, included and treated fairly. This work may go under different labels such as “diversity,” “multiculturalism,” “equity,” “anti-oppression,” “cultural competence” or “social justice.” I have a long history of doing work related to culture and difference in ways that I...
read moreThe Power of Storytelling: My Story as a Proud Mom
Greetings and Happy Summer! Storytelling is a powerful way to touch hearts and open minds. Today, I am sharing a very personal story with you. As you may know, I am the proud mother of a gay son, Danny Moreno. Being his mother has taught me many lessons about unconditional love and acceptance, shared in the video below. We went through some challenging times, and the support from our family and community along the way has made all the difference. Danny will march in his first Pride Parade next week, as a proud member of the New York City Gay...
read more